I heard this cool quote the other day, “Slow down, if you live long enough, eventually life teaches you how to live it.”
Now that I’ve almost spent 30 years on this planet, I finally feel like I’m in a good place in my life where I can grasp things more steadily. It’s been a constant ebb and flow on a monstrous emotional roller coaster, but for the first time in years I finally feel like I’m starting to get a hold of things. I’ve spent the last ten years caught in the turbulent aftermath of my dad’s death right as my 20’s came roaring in. The truth is, that even though I spent a good portion of the time feeling like I was trudging black sludge, lost in a subconscious haze of a carousel of characters from Alice’s Wonderland, regrets feel moot. Yes, I was on a high speed train of universal experiences, but through various time frames, various lives lived out in various places and stories shared a long the way, I’ve learned a few of my own sweet spots.
If you don’t know what a sweet spot is, it’s like this perfect amount of time exposed to something where you really enjoy the thing thoroughly that you want more, but you also don’t get so much of it that you are just bored to tears or angry that it still exists in your life. According to the dictionary, a sweet spot is defined as “an optimum point or combination of factors or qualities.” I love this definition though, because it’s so simple and perfectly to the point.
Well, along this period of time bouncing from one thing to the other, life has surely started to teach me how to live it, by revealing to me my very own sweet spots. I’ve learned that I can only take two hits of weed to get that perfect serene high without spiraling into a paranoia hole. I’ve learned that 3-4 beers creates a perfect buzz where everything is funny and things start to flow more fluidly. I’ve learned that any time liquor enters my body, I don’t know why, but the chemical reaction causes me to disappear.
When I got back from South America this time, I realized two weeks is enough time for me now. I don’t need these grand journey’s abroad, they don’t make me happy anymore. I just get irritated that I’m still somewhere else that isn’t home and that I can’t be productive. When I move to a new city it takes me 1-2 months to build a beginner network of friends and colleagues before I start to actually enjoy my new home and it takes a full year to build a real life there.
I’ve realized that all of my best friends came to be that way because of one massive blow out fight. That arguments are natural and healthy in all relationships, it’s just how we respond to these moments that direct the nature of every relationship. We either rise above together and grow closer, or we say fuck this shit, it ain’t worth it, and sometimes it isn’t and we move on.
I like this idea that life teaches us how to live it, a natural pace, natural rhythm, magical numbers that create various moments of perfection. I’m excited to see what life further reveals to me in my 30’s 🙂