You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse

I don’t know what it is about Halloween, but most of my memories revolve around this song, the first time I heard it and the two times I dressed up as the queen, these are the remnants:

“Meet ya downstairs…”

the basement of Doug’s party lair, bumpin’ ‘n grindin’, the German beer girl costume, Jamon, Gunther Bobby and his first hits of salvia, “whoa, whoa, whoooaaaa”, pink stains on the wedding dress, the mystery juice, Alice in Wonderland, cheerleader Jesus,

“In the bar and hurt…”

Jell-O shots, fire escape balconies, the invitation to strangers, the drive home from Madison, Nora Bryne, hot mess on state street, two tall choir boys, $15 found (paid to parrttyy!), neighbors 3-story beer bong at 7am (fuck these loud obnoxious motherfuckers), Welcome to Homecoming weekend,

“What did you do with him today…”

make out sessions on a pullout mattress with the Indian doctor,

“like I was Tanqueray…”

the Brawley haus, Kayla’s wig, dark eyeliner, stumbling through a party pack of Mike’s Hard lens, everything looks great, BLAST OFF! Jesse Funk’s party, the upstairs bathroom, weed in every corner,

“Cause you’re my fella, my guy…”

the main floor hand-holding sessions with Steez, Mustard Plug conversations, Ska is Dead, Scooby snacks, stolen racks of meat, Kibbles and Bits, Princess Jessie,

“Hand me your stella and fly…”

the basement, supposed to be a live band, only Brad’s episodic stumbles in a corner among some chairs and a pile of wood, potential beer pong champions, borrowed piercing//borrowed time//either way it’s lost now,

“By the time I’m out the door…”

pissing behind the pines in the neighbors yard, incoherent bike rides home,

“I knew I would…”

Halloween 2012, Maria’s house, those cobalt blue stilettos, the little black dress, nights on the porch playing ukulele in the rain, I’m too old for these charades, g’night moon-goers,

“no good…”

that unmistakable car ride to downtown Eugene, singing at the tops of our lungs, after all, girls DO just want to have fun, shots in a mystery bar, the rude man that stole her drink, angry Maddie, wake up littered in fast food wrappers and no recollection of how or why.


Fidelity by Regina Spektor

It’s been awhile old friend 😊 Hearing your voice again, that melodic piano, a symphony of love, I’m pulled in again:

“Suppose I never ever met you…”

Jason Pape, Halloween 2006, teenage trick-or-treat, that busted burgundy Buick, the apartment on 5th street, cuddle sessions and conversations at 4AM, The Village, snowstorms, laying in bed all day, the innocence of love,

“Suppose I kept on singing love songs…”

That slipped kiss, wrestling matches, coloring books, Battleship championship, hookah bars, “are you guys dating?”, the boardwalk at night

“I hear in my mind all of this music and it breaks my heart…”

True Loves by Hooray for Earth

I’ve spent the last year trying to remember the name of this song so I could listen to it again, I open up my old music page from college and there it is, smiling back at me 😊

Immediately I flashed to that plush carpeted floor that use to decorate our rec room, the screen door wide open,

“Quiet heart, quiet heart…”

June summer still nights,

“It’s a quiet heart…”

peace of mind, everything is over, the chaos is done, school is over, we can all move on, late night chats with the same ole friends,

“Hollow chest, it’s a hollow chest…”

the pet falcon, Arabian nights, stale conversations to fill a lonely life, he loves me, I only want to be his friend, I let him know, he’s convinced it’ll be different when he returns, I only see him once more,

“Under a world of sound…”

a year later, two friends marriage, a hotel lobby, the Asian girl, “when can we start drinking again?”, fake smiles,

“I’ll make a choice…”

they haven’t changed, I have, we slip silently out the sliding doors, name tags in tact, good-bye Stevens Point.

Sabali by Amadou & Mariam

So my friend texted me tonight about some guy that came into the gallery he works at in New York and showed him a video about Banksy. The song playing in the video was Sabali.

Sabali was a song I’d found through some random blog that had the years top 500 songs posted to it. I remember finding it and thinking, “my god I’ve stumbled upon a goldmine!”

It soon became the anthem for spring 2010. Jessie Frankulin and I would giggle every time we heard the song and I can still hear her voice the first time she heard it, “what’s this?” She mustered through her gleeful laughter.

I’d forgotten about the song and then two years later it found me again. I’d moved into the Broadway house in Eugene, Oregon. My neighbor Cueyo would play hip-hop music every time he cooked one of his magical kitchen concoctions. I overheard Theophilus London rhyming over a Sabali sample and died. I downloaded the song instantaneously.

A few weeks later my roommate Ben told me he heard me listening to his favourite song. I said, ” oh yeah, what’s that?”

I had no idea we had anything in common other than our ambiguous natures and tendencies to go-with-the-flow.

He pulls up the video on YouTube and I have no idea what he’s talking about. I’d never heard of this song before in my life. Then the track cued up and this time it was Nas and Damian Marley rapping over Sabali. The music video was hypnotizing, aesthetically pleasing mine eyes.

In that moment I realized Sabali had the power to move mountains 😄

Heartbeat by Childish Gambino

His name appeared and I was automatically thrown into the passenger side of my best friends beetle.

“I wanted you to know that I am ready to go…”

We’re speeding down the FDR, my favourite drive in New York City, filming the whole thing, this song blasting in the background on z100,

“My heartbeat, my heartbeat…”

Boogie down Bronx, Pepsi cola sign, Randall’s island, night sky, Brooklyn bridge, Grand Street (reminds me of Matt & Kim every time), green terrace on the overhead bridge, flashing lights, light trails, street lights, headlights, break lights, city of lights, boats cruisin’,

“I can’t sleep, I can’t sleep…”

Times Square, Forever 21, “so tell me what’s your favourite colour”, a $90 round trip ticket, peacock headband, the beautiful man behind the counter, “I couldn’t find you guys”, that diner with the decadent pastries, my, my metrocard, the subway, we meet back up.

“Leave you alone like the way you left me…”

Our hostel in Williamsburg, the terrace, the Manhattan skyline “I never want to go back to Times Square again”, pizza delivery mishaps, the ask.

Down with the Trumpets – Rizzle Kicks

Okkaayy, throwback to my study abroad semester in London. This beat was so fucking sick at the time. We requested it on Friday club nights, pregamed to it, rapped along with it, vibed with it, basically, we were all out addicted to the sound.

Let’s set up the scene: A-Squad enters the ISH bar, Julia, Cory, MareBear, Kory and I order a round of shots and pints of Strongbow and Carlsberg and sit in our corner booth. Suddenly the track would take hold: it would start playing on the screens.

“When I get down, I get respect now…”

I can remember Kory saying, “God, this song!”

“and when our tune drops you know it makes your head bounce…”

We’re buzzed and stumbling to the 88 Camden Town bus to the Koko disco, raining confetti, butterfly face paint, fresh red hair, those burnt sienna corduroy shorts, runaway massive balloon hands, the balcony, “this is our life”, security pummeling Kory, the walk home.

“Lookin’ at a bright blue skyyyy!”

That lame party at CareBear’s buddy-between-the-sheets’ flat, shotgunning on the foyer, that nappy purple sweater, stealing back Kory’s SnapBack, Kory stealing the grandma motor chair, Baker Street, drunk photoshoots.

Feed the Animals by Girl Talk

I had a flashback to a party that I don’t even know how I ended up at but I remember the one person I knew there: Daleth Mountjoy.

I knew of him because my neighbor in the dorms was obsessed with him and actually knew him because we sat at the same fuck-off table in our English literature class.

So how did I end up at this party? Who the fuck knows. I just remember the moment the album cued up. I shit my pants with joy and shook my lil toosh on the dance floor, which was actually a dining room with all the furniture moved to one side and the chandelier lights obnoxiously on full blast, but who cares! We were all drunken lunatic smiles enjoying our youth 😄

This isn’t the only memory I have of this album. I was to skip my meteorology class the night of the election and see him perform. I thought, “what better way to celebrate Obama’s victory than gettin’ down on the floor with Girl Talk?” Then the motherfucking show sold out a few days in advance and my lazy ass never got around to buying a ticket.

Maybe that was the point of the mysterious party later on though, to make up for that which I felt I’d missed.

My Moon, My Man by Feist (Boys Noize Remix)

One can’t even imagine the amount of adrenaline and hyped up sexual energy that surges my entire body as soon as I hear the footsteps running at the beginning of this track!

I had to put this song on as soon as I mentioned it in my last post and immediately I was transported back to that Sunday night in October six years ago: permanent marker lines on our wrists to count the number of jagerbombs ingested, an entire party pack of Smirnoff down the hole, 3 CDs chopped, screwed and remixed originals and newbies of all the just pressed underground electrowave dance hits,

“My moon, my man…”

jumping in a bush behind the garage to hide from the cops, desperate attempts to be saved, “Libby, I’m that last person you should call when you’re running from the cops!”, magic carpet ride to ye ole party homestead, we lock eyes.

“Take it slow, take it easy on me…”

The door closes, “put the song on repeat”, breasts billowing out, nights of passion stay in fashion, a nibbler,

“Shed some light, shed some light on me please…”

Texts from unaware folk, “are you in jail?”, a stolen sweater, walking in the middle of the street at 3AM, Aries brigade street parade, the drop off, arriving home, getting called off from my 5AM shift, sleeping until my 10AM class,

“It’s the dirtiest clean I know…” 😘

Over and Over by Hot Chip

I don’t know how it happened but this song popped into my head tonight!

I instantly traveled back in time to Autumn 2008: that first dance party that addicted me like a gateway drug to an electrofest hipster disco, making out with Lucas in the hallway between his bedroom and the bathroom, the moment our lips touched we agreed to this secret affair, running from the cops, My Moon, My Man, Boys Noize, the suckled teets, that turquoise elastic headband with matching top under the striped one, “you’re the first person I’ve met in sheboygan county to wear leggings as pants”, the beginning of the term ‘hipster’,

“Over and over and over and over…”

traveling to New York for the autumn, that Ratatat show that was sold out that we still got into, the brats from Connecticut in the front row, the blue and green light trails on the photos, ‘Wildcat’, ‘Seventeen Years’, history in the making,

“like a monkey with a miniature cymbal…”

that first semester in Stevens Point with Jessie Frankulin, danger biking, the tree house, smoking pot with Jim Raynor, Lucas O’Connell, Friday the 13th, stolen photos, stolen life, make out clubs, never ending lips, cuddle sessions, Earth Mama, 90FM, Steiner Hall, dance parties and nightly adventures, the age of innocence,

“The joy of repetition…”

Road trip listening to Broken Bells with Mike Wilson and George Lepak, the show; MY GOD that show! We pass the joint to ‘We Have Love’, cute hand hearts in the air, dancing with all the girls, the marimbas start up! The blinding lights! Crescendo! Mother fucking crescendo.

Applause! Applause! For I have nothing but love and respect for this song for the journey it has taken me on and the floodgates it has opened.

Runaway Love by Alice Gold

I remember the first time I heard this song: summer break, St. Mark’s Place, lower east side, New York City, giggling at strangers conversations, Pinkberry, pomegranate mango swirled frozen yogurt, the taste of the powered garlic from the two slices of pizza before still lingering on my tongue, dreams of Berlin in June 😍

I was addicted. I wrote some lyrics on a napkin to find it later and here I am still listening.