You Know I’m No Good by Amy Winehouse

I don’t know what it is about Halloween, but most of my memories revolve around this song, the first time I heard it and the two times I dressed up as the queen, these are the remnants:

“Meet ya downstairs…”

the basement of Doug’s party lair, bumpin’ ‘n grindin’, the German beer girl costume, Jamon, Gunther Bobby and his first hits of salvia, “whoa, whoa, whoooaaaa”, pink stains on the wedding dress, the mystery juice, Alice in Wonderland, cheerleader Jesus,

“In the bar and hurt…”

Jell-O shots, fire escape balconies, the invitation to strangers, the drive home from Madison, Nora Bryne, hot mess on state street, two tall choir boys, $15 found (paid to parrttyy!), neighbors 3-story beer bong at 7am (fuck these loud obnoxious motherfuckers), Welcome to Homecoming weekend,

“What did you do with him today…”

make out sessions on a pullout mattress with the Indian doctor,

“like I was Tanqueray…”

the Brawley haus, Kayla’s wig, dark eyeliner, stumbling through a party pack of Mike’s Hard lens, everything looks great, BLAST OFF! Jesse Funk’s party, the upstairs bathroom, weed in every corner,

“Cause you’re my fella, my guy…”

the main floor hand-holding sessions with Steez, Mustard Plug conversations, Ska is Dead, Scooby snacks, stolen racks of meat, Kibbles and Bits, Princess Jessie,

“Hand me your stella and fly…”

the basement, supposed to be a live band, only Brad’s episodic stumbles in a corner among some chairs and a pile of wood, potential beer pong champions, borrowed piercing//borrowed time//either way it’s lost now,

“By the time I’m out the door…”

pissing behind the pines in the neighbors yard, incoherent bike rides home,

“I knew I would…”

Halloween 2012, Maria’s house, those cobalt blue stilettos, the little black dress, nights on the porch playing ukulele in the rain, I’m too old for these charades, g’night moon-goers,

“no good…”

that unmistakable car ride to downtown Eugene, singing at the tops of our lungs, after all, girls DO just want to have fun, shots in a mystery bar, the rude man that stole her drink, angry Maddie, wake up littered in fast food wrappers and no recollection of how or why.


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