“Who for and what for, I don’t know…”
I’ve been encountering a lot of people lately with the same message, “love yourself, love yourself so you can love others.” It feels like the universe is talking to me through the hearts and souls of those around me. This is all hot and fresh off a conversation I had with my boss today about how you don’t have to change who you are for anyone, you don’t have to go out in the world and ‘find yourself’, you just have to embrace yourself. A conversation I had with my friend last night about emotional intelligence, not taking on others emotions, not reacting directly to emotional triggers so that others can point the finger at you and make you look like the crazy one. It got me to thinking how much of my own life, my own identity has been shaped by what others have told me I am, and how much others have made me feel about myself.
Lately I’ve noticed myself questioning others influences on me because a few people have told me their insights into me that I just don’t identify with, nor see them as valid input.
I realized it’s not just me, a lot of people take on these identities they may not have even identified with in the beginning, in fact psychology has a term for it: mirror neurons. We take on the personality traits//feelings//thoughts of those around us, that’s why they say to watch the company you keep, that we’re the average of our six closest friends, and to even surround yourself with people you admire so you can pick up the traits yourself.
This made me realize that some of us spend so much time trying to figure out who we are when we’re around a group of people and distinguish that from who we are when around a completely different group of people and then somehow homogenize it all when we’re alone. In this befuddled mess we forget to just be.
So I’d like everyone to take a second and just be with me, as you are and see what comes from the process.