There comes a time at the end of each journey where I realize, much of what I was experiencing was a narrative I played out in my head. A narrative that quickly dies once I realize nothing that I’m thinking is even reflecting what’s happening. I know I’m not the only one that does this, I watch plenty of my friends lie to themselves about what is actually going on in their lives too, whether we use it as a coping mechanism, some sort of denial, a way to make our lives seem more grandiose than they are, I don’t know, you can choose your flavour of the week depending on which pill you prefer to swallow.
I have dated men that didn’t want to admit the relationship was over when it was and men have dated me when I didn’t want to admit the relationship was over when it was. I have moved and traveled to places and loved it, I have moved and traveled to places and hated it. I have worked jobs that pay me $5.25/hour, I have worked jobs that pay me $25,000/year. I have paid $50 for plane tickets, I have paid $700 for plane tickets. I have traveled rich, I have traveled poor. There are two sides to every coin and if you’re lucky enough in this life you get to experience both sides so you have a more well-rounded perspective of all lives and all that life offers.
In the end life becomes whatever you take away from it, whether you see the good or the bad in any given situation, that’s exactly what you get. Personally, I am trying to get to a place where duality no longer exists, so that subjectivity can die along with it and all that exists is the objective, all encompassing dot.