Saying Goodbye to an Old Friend

Ooohh I’ve been with you now for almost 4 years, but I realized that this blog started as reflections on my college years and all the crazy adventures I accumulated that were tied to music and memories. Then in the last couple years it became more of little wisdoms on life, observations and random things I was thinking about. I don’t want to delete this blog fully because it’s a part of me, a part of my story, but as a new chapter begins in my life I realize that that cycle of my life is over. Maybe as I fully integrate into this new adventure I will delete this blog anyways because I have a habit and a fond appreciation for letting things completely go.

As a good friend once told me, “close the door, you don’t live there anymore.”

Thank you everyone that’s been with me on this journey of self growth and expansion šŸ¦‹

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How to Be a Heartbreaker by Marina and the Diamonds

This memory has been floating through my mind space for the past couple of weeks. I don’t even know how it happened, but alas, this song correlates to the events leading up to it all.

“You’ve gotta have fun…”

14 hours in theĀ Madrid airport, free wifi, 6AM boarding pass, goodbye email to Guapo, leaving the last month in Spain behind, slumbering travel excursion, a tour bus in another city,

“Don’t get attached to somebody you could lose…”

a passing thunderstorm, writing postcards to past lovers, the number 42 lingers above the door frame, the electricity in the air is apparent, the doorman across the street appears distraught, the air thickens as he passes, I disappear,

“Wear your heart on your cheek…”

Exit the metro, the doorman descends the stairs, our tongues common language is lust, our eyes link followed by our bodies, we are entranced in seduction, a flirtatious devil-dance, his lips meet mine, a whirlwind romance, time is spinning around us, he catches the next train, I am left to my own vices: giggling wondering how this always happens to me, I love the universe in these moments and it’s coquettish ways,

“Gotta be lookin’ pure…”

March 31, the Englishman in the bar, he buys me a beer, I tell him about my adventures, he’s intrigued, an invitation to his room, modest declination, visits to my own room find me two Brazilian boys waiting to party, the caveĀ beneath the hostel, a club rager, the tall blonde man has been eyeing me up since I arrived, he goes in for the kill,

“Leave him wanting more…”

He is Russian, gentle caresses as he traces my hip line with his fingertips, we dance and kiss all night, happy birthday to me!, the club closes, we spill out onto the street, a nighttime stroll, “You must come with me, I will buy you anything you want!”, “I’m not interested in things that can be bought”, he pulls me closer, I lay on top of him in the park square, his body warm and inviting, I get off quickly, “I have to be up early to go back to Paris.”, “I must see you again”, we walk back to my hostel, he gives me a keepsake and tells me he loves me, “How do I see you again?”, I enter, smile ever-so-slightly, “You’ll find a way”, the door closes behind me,

“This is how to be a heartbreaker…”